Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Writer's Horoscope #4

It's been a while (we're as regular as a fiber-deprived broken clock), but it's time again for another "Writer's Horoscope." When reading this feature, it's important to remember that as writers, we're all professionals at making sh*t up. But this is REAL. It must be true! You read it on the interwebs!

If, however, you don't find that your entry in this horoscope seems to apply to you, it's entirely possible that your parents lied to you about your birth-date. (They may also be aliens. Or robots. Or robot aliens. Just remember next time you visit home, it wasn't our idea to cut them open and see what's inside!) Try another sign and see if it makes more sense to you. If it still doesn't seem to apply, keep in mind that they may not only have fudged the date, but the year, and possibly our earlier installments will fit you better. Find them here and here and here.

Aries (March 21 - April 19) - It's party season!  Sure, you could stay home tonight and write, but why do that when you can go out and talk about writing to strangers who might just be impressed and feed your ego. This will work great until you ask the electric company to cash an ego check.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - If you're feeling in a writing rut, perhaps this would be a good time to try a collaboration.  They say two heads are better than one, and you might benefit from having a sounding board for your ideas.  Or maybe it will just remind you of how much better it was writing your own, and get you the hell back to work.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - Today could be the day you succeed.  Today could be the day when your dreams are realized.  Who knows who is reading your work, right this second?  Who is thinking about it?  Who may be reaching for a phone, or typing that all important email?  This could be the day that everything changes.  Or not.  But every day could be that day, and today should be rich with possibilities.  If it isn't, maybe you should have more work circulating.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - Networking isn't about chasing the most important person you can track down and shoving your manuscript at them under the bathroom stall door.  It's about finding those unanticipated connections that turn out to be important to you, and it's just impossible to anticipate those.  Spread kindness around, and treat everyone you meet like they're important.  One of these days, some of them will be.

Leo (July 23 - August 22) - Avoid cliches like the plague.  Stop chasing after things that others have already been successful at.  A wise person once said, if you can see the bandwagon, it's too late to get on.  Be a leader, not a follower.  It's harder and riskier, but the potential riches, and the certain satisfaction are much greater.

Virgo (Aug 23 - September 22) - It's the nature of writers to lie.  We make stuff up for a living, after all.  But keep the lies in your fiction.  Untruths told in business have a way of coming undone and biting you in the ass.

Libra (September 23 - Oct 22) - While it's important for a writer to shield their ego from criticism, praise, especially false praise, can be just as dangerous.  Beware such praise.  It can disguise ill-intent, or come at a hidden cost.  Or it can simply over-inflate your ego and see you up for a fall.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - November 21) - Your patience may be getting thin, but you don't find a pearl without opening a lot of oysters first.  Persistence pays.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) - Sure, you're a dreamer!  It's your gift!  But it's also your curse.  Don't look so far ahead.  Think of the future and the big goals, yes, but keep your eye on the next step to getting there.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - Don't call me Ishmael, but you may be chasing a white whale.  Is there a project on your desk that has gone on far too long and taken far too much of your resources?  Maybe it's time to either put a harpoon it in or let it go.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - Never sell yourself short.  Never eliminate the biggest, best, or most profitable option because you think it's out of your league.  Go for the best until that option firmly eliminates itself.  Then move on to the next best, and so on until you things find their level.  You may not get the top, but never assume!

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) - One advantage of being a writer is that you set your own schedule.  Yes, that means you can choose when to start, but if things are going well, expect they'll have their own ideas about when to stop.

If this is your birth month: You're a fortunate person!  You understand that December isn't the end of the year so much as it is the quiet before the dawn.  This is the time to prepare for a new year of opportunities and possibilities.  Editors and agents have cleared off their desks, the holiday interruptions will soon be over, and thoughts will everywhere turn to the coming spring, rebirth, and new projects.  Finish off that slice of birthday cake and get ready.  A new journey is about to begin!

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